well i'm the one griping so i guess i'll be the first to offer to give some lessons. i'm born and bred here but i dont usually call myself much of a southerner what with the 3 times i've moved away FOR GOOD and then come back and all. but regardless of my transient nature, i have manners, i value hospitality and feel i was raised to offer it, accept it, and recognize a need/lack of it. being new in town is a no brainer, need situation. surprise to me though (silly girl), not everybody agrees. and clearly folks in griffin are divided.
clue #1
new in town, first day at work: no offers to go to lunch, or dinner, or bbq, or the park, or the gym, or anywhere at all, ever. not the first day, week, or month. subsequent invites initiated by me, completely ignored.
clue #2
when chatting about settling in and finding everything, no one mentions where to grocery shop, and when i erroneously name one store as old and outdated, no one says, oh by the way, they totally remodeled EVERY location of THAT store and are now THE store in town to go to. nope, just silence.
clue#3
when noting at closing time on inclement weather days, that i dont need a ride (since i commute by bike), that i'll just wait it out and if it doesnt pass, i'll take a taxi home. no one, not one mentions, oh by the way, we dont have taxis here. nice.
clue#4
my lovely neighbor couple, who i suspect have less than i do, given an early forced retirement due to mill closings in town is the one ray of sunlight and hospitality. she constantly checks on me and offers me breakfast, checks on my dog, and brings me leftovers. now that's what i'm talkin about!
no seriously, its not about free food, its about caring about folks, bein friendly, knowing what position they are in and offering to help kindly and politely. to just ignore folks after you've lured them here for a job and you know they've moved away from everything and everyone they know AINT RIGHT i tell ya. it just aint.
clue#5
this fall when some tenants move out of our downtown office building the office dictator notes that they will soon move me downstairs so I can be on the ground floor, ALONE, without windows, or social interaction. HELLO?! you people are off the charts rude, and unthinking. not just inhospitable, but clueless. ms. manners can i get a witness?
there is one exception to this behavior: bossman brings in free friday breakfast for all, most every week; granted its rarely healthy and its always fast food, but still, its a nice gesture. and i have to add that there are 2 coworkers who are very friendly and come by to chat to see how things are going, and one of them just transferred to another job in the community, so we're down to one.
here's what i would have done and will when a new person joins the organization. first day: invite them to lunch, nearby and walk, so as to point out other spots in town. if they are moving there solo and i know they live alone...first weekend festival: let them know i'm going and happy to meet them there, or pick them up. exchange mobiles to text later. a few months in: ask if they want to join a zumba class with me, or art studio, or meet at the track for walk after work. when they ask for recommendations for doctors or services in town, share that info. and if is a new neighbor, greet them a few days after they've settled in. i'm not little debbie and i dont bake but i'd introduce myself and offer to be of help if they need any.
i'm sure there's more but i've just been steaming about those above and needed to record them. hopefully this is the end of the offenses. and i'm not saying go get all betty busy body on folks, but at least offer. no one offered. and its been 4 months.
there. all better. off my chest and now i'm off to walk my dog and make friends. :)
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